✨ Sleepwalking Through Life: The Silent Epidemic and the High Cost of Not Waking Up
I’ve lived with sleepwalkers.
I’ve worked with sleepwalkers.
And it’s hard to imagine — but you can wake up one day to the realisation that after living together for over three decades…
you never really got to know someone.
Not until years later —
or worse still, after they’ve left or passed. 🕯️
You don’t truly know someone unless you’ve been immersed in every aspect of their world —
life at home,
at work,
in their friendships,
in the way they show up to care for others,
in the way they handle projects, passions, responsibilities, and dreams,
in how they navigate setbacks, conflict, growth, and change —
in all the messy, human spaces where character is revealed, not just performed —
and the caveat: retro-understanding who they were before you even entered their story. 📖
That’s how you get to know who you are related to, married to, or live with:
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how they deal with adversity,
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how they manage conflict,
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how they resolve problems,
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how they treat their customers,
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how they treat their loved ones,
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how they treat the people they can’t stand,
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who they are, what they say, and what they do when they think no one’s listening or watching. 👀
But first — they have to become aware that there’s even a problem.
Good luck with that one.
Because sadly, not everyone wakes up —
not unless their comfort blankets are stripped away and they lose everything they’ve ever cared about. 💔
And in some cases, even then, it doesn’t happen immediately.
No matter what situation they find themselves in, it can sometimes take another two decades for anything to truly shift —
because they’ve unknowingly and unconsciously been driven by psychological wounds, generational trauma, and even past-life pain,
recreating the very conditions that triggered them back into survival mode, operating from outdated programming, vulnerabilities, and insecurities they have no awareness even exist. 🔄
The real work may never even begin without a catalyst —
a medical diagnosis, a devastating loss, a full-blown crisis —
something powerful enough to finally crack open their carefully constructed world
and allow the real narrative to start surfacing. 🌪️
Two decades of sleepwalking before something — a loss, a diagnosis, a collapse — finally tears open the door to acceptance. 🚪
Only then do you begin piecing together what really happened to you.
Only then do you realise how long you’ve been trying to heal something you could never quite name —
because, like me, you might discover you were the one who was sleepwalking,
or the one who woke up to the realisation you were living with people who had never woken up —
and some of them still don’t see why they ever would.
What Sleepwalking Looks Like 💤
It’s not just someone wandering the house at night.
It’s someone wandering through life without seeing, feeling, or consciously choosing.
It looks like:
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Staying in jobs, relationships, and routines that hollow you out.
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Missing the tiny moments that build real connection.
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Numbing yourself with busyness, distractions, or denial.
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Postponing dreams until “later” — a later that may never come.
And it’s everywhere:
The coworker who clocks in and out without ever really being there.
The parent who forgets how to be curious about their child.
The partner who stops really looking at you across the room.
The driver who doesn’t even realise they’re veering off course. 🚗
Sleepwalking feels safe.
It demands nothing.
It shields you from risk, pain, and the hard work of living awake.
But here’s the truth:
Life doesn’t wait for you to wake up.
The Wake-Up Call 🚨
Sometimes you wake up slowly — a nudge from inside that something isn’t right.
Other times, life rips the ground out from under you. 🌪️
You wake up to find:
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The people you loved have drifted away, or passed on. 🕯️
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The marriage you thought would last has crumbled into silence.
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The dreams you shelved “for now” have gathered dust, untouchable.
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The version of yourself you once loved is a stranger in the mirror.
You wake up surrounded by death, divorce, disconnection, disappointment, and dreams deferred.
And you wonder:
How did I miss this?
Where was I?
The Cost of Sleepwalking 💸
It’s easy to think: It won’t happen to me.
But it does.
It happens to the kindest, smartest, most capable people I know.
Because staying awake is hard.
It means facing discomfort.
It means risking rejection.
It means grieving what you thought would be — and choosing to live anyway.
It’s easier to coast.
It’s easier to convince yourself you have more time.
Until one day…
you don’t. 🕰️
Choosing to Wake Up 🌱
Waking up isn’t a one-time event.
It’s a choice you make over and over again.
It’s noticing when you’re drifting.
It’s shaking yourself when you get numb.
It’s choosing presence — even when it’s painful.
And here’s the hope:
Even if you’ve been sleepwalking for years,
Even if you’ve lost things you can never get back,
Even if you’re waking up to devastation —
You are still here.
You still have breath.
You still have choices.
You still have a chance to live fully, fiercely, and awake. ✨
And for Those Living with Sleepwalkers… 💬
If you are living with a sleepwalker —
someone who cannot or will not wake up to the life unfolding around them —
I see you.
I know how lonely it feels.
How exhausting it is to carry all the awareness alone.
How heartbreaking it is to watch someone you love drift further and further away from themselves — and from you. 💔
You can’t wake someone who doesn’t want to be awake.
You can’t force someone to see what they refuse to look at.
What you can do is stay awake for yourself.
You can choose presence, even when they choose absence.
You can grieve the reality you thought you had —
and honour the reality you live in and are consciously striving for.
You can love someone without losing yourself to their sleepwalking.
And if you ever have to walk away to save your own life —
you are not selfish.
You are awake.
And sometimes, waking up means knowing when to stop waiting for someone else to open their eyes.
When You Can’t Save It Anymore 🛑
And for those who are navigating this for the first time, the second time — maybe even the hundredth time —
sometimes you just have to crash the car,
burst the bubble — and the emotional explosion that comes with it —
swing the emotional wrecking ball right through the life you thought you were building,
shatter the illusions you’ve been clinging to,
and let the pieces fall where they may. 💥
Because pretending you’re still safe inside the fantasy
only keeps you trapped in a life that’s already slipping away —
or one you’ve already mentally detached from.
I’ve been wanting to crash the car for a very long time.
What I thought was me screaming for an emergency stop
was actually me just jumping off —
I didn’t manage to stop the runaway train.
But when the wrecking ball finally swings, it won’t be chaos —
it’s already crystal clear.
And it’s intentional. 🎯
I trust in what follows.
I’ve had a lifetime of picking myself up and dusting myself off.
Now that I’ve rebuilt my foundations, end to end,
and know with certainty what I’m capable of after destruction —
I don’t need to know exactly how I’ll execute it,
or how I’ll bring it all together again.
I just know I will.
Because I’ve been here before.
And just like Frank Sinatra said — I’m doing it my way. 🎶
And it feels great.
Calm.
Still.
Because I refuse to rebuild the old life.
I’m building a brand new one,
brick by brick,
breath by breath —
and this time,
it’s mine. 🧱✨
Final Thoughts 🧡
The worst thing isn’t waking up to find things broken.
The worst thing is never waking up at all.
So if you’re reading this and feel the tiniest stirring inside you —
a nudge,
a discomfort,
a whisper:
There’s more to life than this —
Listen to it.
It’s your soul trying to pull you back.
Back to the life that’s still waiting for you.
Wake up.
Come back.
Before it’s too late. 🌟
📣 If this resonated with you, or if you’ve ever woken up to a life you no longer recognised, I’d love to hear your story.
You’re not alone.
Let’s start a conversation about what it really means to live awake.