What If a Few Minutes Is Not Enough? | Prioritise Self-Care and Rest 🤔

When You Need More Than a Moment

Last year, one quiet Sunday morning, I left the house to grab some milk and ended up sitting in a layby on the A57, phone switched off, crying uncontrollably as I tried to process everything I was feeling. Life felt so heavy, and what I really needed was space—much more than just a few moments. It took four hours and a conversation with someone I trusted to reset and resume life as I knew it. Luckily, the supermarket was still open when I finally returned, milk in hand.

The second time it happened, I found myself in a country park car park. The weight of everything hadn’t lifted—it was growing heavier. I realised I couldn’t keep pressing “pause” for a few hours and pretending I’d be fine. I needed something bigger.

That’s how I found myself retreating to a Travelodge on the A1—not once, but four times in 2024. Sometimes, I stayed a few days; other times, I stayed for weeks—until I felt remotely ready to return home and face the world.

During these stays, I had to confront some uncomfortable truths about myself, my needs, and my capacity to cope in difficult moments.

Recognising When You Need Space

The first step in knowing when you need more than a moment is recognising the signals. When life feels overwhelming, your mind and body send out cues that things are too much.

Ask yourself:

  • Am I feeling trapped or suffocated in my current environment?
  • Am I exhausted despite resting or sleeping?
  • Am I struggling to focus, stay present, or make decisions?

When the answer to these questions is “yes,” your body might be asking you to slow down and create space.

Practical Steps to Take When You Need Space

  1. Pause and Breathe:
    Stop what you’re doing and take a deep breath. Breathing deeply for even 60 seconds can help calm your nervous system.Try This:

    • Breathe in slowly for a count of four.
    • Hold for four seconds.
    • Exhale for six seconds.
      Repeat until your heart rate slows.
  2. Find a Safe Space:
    If you need to leave your current environment, where can you go that feels calm and neutral? This could be:

    • A quiet park or car park
    • A library or cafĂ©
    • A hotel or retreat space
  3. Bring Comfort Items:
    Pack a few things that make you feel grounded. These might include:

    • A notebook or journal
    • A favourite blanket or hoodie
    • Headphones and calming music or a podcast
  4. Set a Timeframe (but Be Flexible):
    Give yourself permission to take as much time as you need. Whether it’s 10 minutes, a few hours, or several days, your timeline is your own.Question to Consider:

    • How long do I realistically need to feel like I’ve reset?
    • Can I extend this time if I’m still not ready to return?

Questions to Help You Reflect and Reset

  • What am I feeling right now, and where do I feel it in my body?
  • What do I need most in this moment—space, comfort, connection, or quiet?
  • If I had permission to pause without guilt, what would I do to feel at peace?

Building Confidence to Advocate for Yourself

It can be hard to ask for space—especially if you fear being judged or misunderstood. But advocating for your needs isn’t selfish; it’s an essential form of self-care.

Practice These Phrases:

  • “I need some time to process everything. Can we talk later?”
  • “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m going to step away for a bit to reset.”
  • “I’ll need a few days to recharge—thanks for understanding.”

What You Can Do to Prepare for Future Moments

Sometimes, life’s storms catch us off guard. Having a plan in place can make it easier to take the space you need without panic or guilt.

  1. Create a “Reset Kit”:
    Fill a small bag with essentials: a water bottle, journal, headphones, snacks, and anything that makes you feel grounded.
  2. Make a List of Safe Spaces:
    Keep a mental (or written) list of places where you can retreat when things feel too heavy.
  3. Set Boundaries with Loved Ones:
    Let trusted people know that you may need to step away sometimes. The more open you are, the more likely they’ll understand and support you.

Key Reflection:

Taking space isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Whether it’s a quiet morning drive, an afternoon away, or a few days in a Travelodge, what matters is that you give yourself what you need.

Ask Yourself:

  • How am I caring for my mental and emotional health?
  • What can I do to make it easier to ask for time and space when I need it?

Your well-being matters. And if a few minutes isn’t enough, you deserve more time—without guilt or fear.